At long last we decided to make use of the Eurostar terminal but two stops up the tube from us and go to Paris for the weekend. It is remarkable at just how much of the time the fast trains spend drifting along at suburban speeds, both in France and on the UK's antiquated rails. But, nevertheless, we finally made it to Paris at 2300 on Friday night. We then got to experience the RER (rapid suburban rail system) after an evening where France had played football and polished the night off by spending 20 minutes trying to work out how to get from La Défense to our hotel. We did eventually find the place with minimal adventures and, after a chat with the Egyptian Shakespeare fan at reception, collapsed in bed, only to be awoken 6 hours later by our alarms.

Saturday dawned bright and stinking hot, which was all rather convenient. For some daft reason you have to pick up pre-ordered Métro passes at Pryamides in town, which is a pain if you're starting in zone 3. We then wandered from the Louvre down to the Place de la Concorde, before crossing the river and wandering down to that most unknown of monuments, the Eiffel Tower. We then had a most cheap and nasty crêpe and tea at a riverside stall before drifting down the Seine on a tourist boat. Following this and being quite sick of the crowds we left the centre and headed out to the Catacombs.

The Catacombs are in an inconspicuous building south of the city. A steep spiral leads down about 20 metres, before you find yourself in miles of tunnels and, eventually, the caverns containing the remains of some six million Parisians. Unfortunately flash photography was verboten and the lighting atmospheric so we have few pictures, but it was certainly a sight worth seeing. And there was almost no one there. The one problem - we found ourselves spat out in the middle of nowhere, with no idea of how to find our way back to the Metro station. Luckily it just provided an excuse to browse and find a decent Patisserie, from which we procured some bits and pieces with the help of Polly's French.

We then polished off our day with a browse of the Champs-Elysées and the Arc de Triomphe, before heading down to St. Louis for dinner (after the endless hunt for food for Polly in the world's worst place to find non-meat dishes) and, of all things, retired at 2100 for an early night. Shocking.

Day two we decided to investigate the tour at the Opera Garnier. In the pouring rain at that. However, after a certain amount of waiting, we looped the building and eventually found someone who said that today it was cancelled - surprise! So we went to Montmartre, still in the pouring rain. To add insult to injury the funicular was out of action and so we had to climb the rather soggy hill. At least it cut down on the number of tourists...

Post climb we were a touch hungry and wondering the back streets back to the station we came across a lovely little crêperie where we had some excellent crêpes and beer from Brittany. They were even kind enough to speak English. Of course I should note that everyone we talked to was happy to speak English, with the appropriate introductions in French of course. Nor was there any of the snottiness for which the Parisians are so renowned, bar one stereotypical waiter. But having been approached three times by people who just came up to us and starting talking English (only one of which bothered to ask if we spoke English) one can appreciate why it so annoys the French.

We then did the most touristy of things - we climbed the Eiffel Tower. I do mean climbed, however - there was no queue for the steps, so we climbed the first two tiers in the pouring rain. Despite the inclement weather we still found immense queues for the top level and so avoided it. And so we finally adjourned to St. Michel, where we found an Indian restaurant and enjoyed a traditional French vindaloo.

And so we eventually found ourselves back in London at 2100 on Sunday evening. A most excellent weekend, but one that does make one appreciate the range of restaurants that serve things other than meat in London. And now I just need to find the time to catch up on all the missed sleep - shame I've got to spend that time working instead, really....